Is your Self-Doubt Stopping you from Changing the World?
Life can be overwhelming. The news is full of horror stories, the environment seems to be falling apart, and every day you hear something else that makes you want to curl up under your covers and hide. Right now, the spread of COVID-19 is threatening to take us away from the very things that nourish our hearts and souls - human connection, spending time outside, and having fun.
Sometimes it just feels completely hopeless. You think what can I do about any of that? It all just feels too much.
But at the same time, something inside you tells you that you could be something more... that you could be a part of something greater. Something that makes a difference.
If you could only figure out exactly what it was that you wanted to do with your life, what you could offer the world that others couldn’t, you might be able to make a difference.
“You?” your inner critic responds. “Why should anyone listen to you?”
Self-doubt, anxiety and fear keep you where you are - feeling anxious and afraid, living “business as usual”, trying not to stand out or cause too much fuss.
What are you so afraid of?
What a stupid question - there’s TONS to be afraid of! What if you throw away a steady, stable income for a wild, pipe dream, and it all goes wrong? What if you paint a huge target on your back by standing up against injustice - you could get fired, or you might even receive threats! And if that’s too extreme, then think of what your friends and family might say if you start to swan around pretending you can save the world like some deluded hippy. Besides, what could you possibly offer?
And yet…
Imagine for a moment that you could wave a magic wand and take away all that doubt, all that fear, and you could go into the world unafraid of what other people thought of you. What might you do?
What would you do if you could press a magic button and stop giving a sh*t what people think of you?
When I asked myself this question, I realised that I was holding myself back in a number of ways.
I was being people-pleasing, going along with things I didn’t really want to do, spending time on things that weren’t that important. I was staying quiet when I was burning up inside because I was so angry at the way people were acting - for example, saying nothing when a conference I helped to organise ordered plastic cups and threw away a lot of perfectly good food - argh! I was playing it safe by taking on tons of language lessons (fun fact - I teach English and Welsh) instead of really ‘going for it’ with my coaching - yes, I was afraid of the financial risk, but I was also afraid of what people might say.
And then I heard someone I admire a lot talking about the refugee crisis. The fact that 1.8 billion people in the world don’t have access to decent sanitation. The fact that the ice caps may be gone in 10 years. He talked about how we spend so much time worrying about whether people like us, obsessing over every small negative comment, feeling overwhelmed by our own emotions.. and then he said - we don’t have TIME for that sh*t any more!
I look around me and see the weaknesses in our economic systems, the fragility of our environment, the insanity of our “infinite growth” model of business. For years, I didn’t say anything as my friends threw away tons of money on Christmas presents, I watched international business meetings after business meeting burn through our fossil fuels for a 60-minute presentation that could be done over Skype, or I looked at the news and felt a need to start preparing for the worst case - because friends and family told me that I was paranoid, weird, or crazy for imagining that things could ever be different from the way they are now.
And yet these days, I see more and more examples of bold, innovative people who have said “no thanks” to the old status quo - people of my generation are choosing more and more to pursue purpose-based, ethical paths rather than a grey, soulless cubicle. More and more people are realising the danger that our environment is in, and the rise of movements like Fridays for Future and Extinction Rebellion show us that people are not willing to accept the ‘keep calm and carry on’ mantra any more.
As I started to speak out about what I saw and felt, to connect to my intuition and say and do things that felt right, something amazing happened - more and more people who were aligned with my vision started to seamlessly flow into my life. Opportunities arose that I would never have imagined, and at the same time I started to realise more and more how the vast majority of people I met were paralyzed with self-doubt, anxiety and a severe lack of self-compassion that kept them locked into lives they didn’t really enjoy. And I thought to myself...
What future could we create, together, if we believed in ourselves?
If we truly loved ourselves, trusted ourselves and each other, and lived in deep, authentic connection with ourselves, each other and the land?
I don’t know about you, but I imagine a world where we are able to keep the best parts of modern society - knowledge of medicine and sanitation, the Internet, AI to help us sift through massive amounts of data to figure out the best solutions for growing food in variable climates, harnessing renewable energy and adapting to the changing earth - while bringing back the ancient knowledge that we have forgotten. Don’t get me wrong - when I say “we” I mean the mostly white, Western world - the indigenous people of the world have kept their knowledge of working in harmony with the land, and often say that they are happy to share this knowledge with us, if we will actually listen.
I imagine a world where we live in communities again - not hoarding items individually, fighting people in the supermarkets over toilet paper, but working together to create harmonious communities where people feel safe to raise their children. Perhaps these communities will be similar to the ways we used to live, in connection to the land and with a deep reverence for the cycles of nature, but perhaps they will be something beyond our imagination.
There is a great power in imagination - if we allow only one vision of the future to dominate, then by default it will become the reality. You don’t need to believe in magic and manifestation to understand this - imagine you are creating a new project with a team at work. If one guy is completely convinced that it is going to look like this and nobody has any better ideas, then the chances are he’s going to get his own way. If we’re all sitting around convinced that the only likely scenarios for our collective future are ‘Business as Usual’ or the Apocalypse (aka the Great Unravelling), then what do you think is going to happen? How can we, instead, start to weave a more pleasing vision into reality?
One of my aims as a coach is to help people who feel called to create a positive difference in the world to find the courage and confidence to step into their true power, find exactly what they want to change, and to move from a place of doubt, fear and negative self-talk to feeling resilient, strong, bold and ready to take on the world.
Right now, you may be thinking “that sounds nice, but that isn’t me. I have nothing special to offer. Besides, I should be focusing on my career - on saving up for a deposit, or putting money aside for a rainy day, or maybe settling down… I’m sure they’ll figure it out in the end and things will be OK.”
Do you REALLY believe that? Or is there a tiny, distant voice inside you that has something different to say?
What would you do, if you knew you couldn’t fail?
I know it’s hard. I know failure is scary. And I know you don’t think you have anything to offer. But I want to remind you of one of my favourite quotes:
““The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane. And these qualities have little to do with success as we have defined it.””
Changing the world doesn’t have to mean curing cancer, solving global warming, saving the polar bears, or even starting a business. It could just mean changing the way you spend your free time, speaking out more against injustices, or helping others to prepare for the changes that may come. It could mean learning new skills - healing, vegetable pickling, or sewing - and teaching others the same.
At the same time, maybe you do have an idea that you just know you could make happen if you could shift that self-doubt.
I am based in Prague, but I work with people from all over the world through the magic of the Internet. Book a FREE 30-min Discovery Call with me today to find out how I can help you to move from self-doubt, fear and inner criticism to a place of courage, resilience, and passionate creativity.
