Pursuing Noble Goals: The Importance of a “Why” Behind What We Do
When I first started training with Six Seconds, the Emotional Intelligence network, as an EQ Assessor and Coach, I was surprised to see that one of their eight competencies (or ‘pillars’) for Emotional Intelligence was entitled “Pursue Noble Goals”.
A “Noble” goal, I went on to discover, is a goal that contributes towards something greater than yourself. It is not only your life’s work, but it is being part of an ongoing process that you may not see the completion of in your lifetime.
Examples of Noble Goals, according to my mentor, were “Help give women a voice in politics” or “Deliver sustainability training to farmers in Indonesia”. OK, I made those examples up, but you get the idea - a goal such as “make a lot of money” or “work four hours a week” may be nice goals, but they are not “Noble” goals. They benefit you, but they don’t do much for the rest of the world.
According to the Six Seconds website:
"When you are connected with your personal vision and mission, emotional intelligence has a powerful meaning and relevance. Having a clear noble goal helps you focus on what is most important and access your full power and potential. When you realize that even your smallest actions help bring the future you want into the present, even the most mundane actions take on a sense of purpose and vibrancy. You make your legacy with every moment of every day.”
It might sound obvious, but can you truly tell me why you do what you do?
I didn’t realise how many people were living without any clear meaning or purpose until I started coaching. It was then that I realised that so many of us feel this anxiety inside us, pushing us to earn more, to do more, to explore or acquire or learn more, but if we truly stop and ask ourselves why, we are unable to really answer.
One of my clients told me at the end of a session - “Wow, I didn’t realise how much this lack of purpose or drive was bleeding into other areas of my life”. It basically transpired, through our session, that he thought he was taking on a lot of extra activities and that what he really needed was to set clear boundaries in order to have more time to himself. However, as we talked through his purpose, he told me that he had absolutely no idea what his noble goal might be. He had no clear “why” for living, and this actually caused him to be afraid of having free time, because he had no idea what he would do with it. Therefore, he was subconsciously keeping himself busy at all times, so that he wouldn’t have to stare into the void and realise that he didn’t have a clear compass, a “why” guiding his decisions.
For some people, it’s easy. Religion, family, or an adverse experience at some point in our lives can make it glaringly obvious for us where we need to focus our attention. For others, our lives have guided us in a very simple way - “do well at school so you can get a good job. Get a good job so you can make money. Make money so you can have a nice house/car/nice holidays” - and when we reach that pinnacle, we look around and feel that something is missing. We may even feel guilty for feeling bad, seeing as we “should” be happy to have shelter, stuff and the ability to travel, while so many do not.
Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist and concentration camp survivor, was able to get through his horrendous experiences because he had a vision of himself, in the future, lecturing to people about the psychology of surviving a concentration camp. He was a big fan of the Nietzsche quote “he who has a why to live for can bear almost any how” - meaning and purpose see us through dark times. However, Frankl argued that many of us are experiencing an existential vacuum - and many others have suggested that today we are facing a “crisis of meaning” (and he wrote this back in the 1950’s). In fact, he even argued that aggression, depression and addiction were problems that arose from the existential vacuum, and unless the vacuum itself was addressed, we would only ever be treating its symptoms.
In the field of Positive Psychology, it has been shown time and time again (e.g. I particularly like Paul Wong) that meaning/purpose is a vital ingredient to wellbeing - although it is possible to be ‘happy’ in terms of consistently feeding ourselves with hedonistic experiences, this relies on constant stimulation, while meaning is more long-lasting. You might be having a great time partying, travelling, and trying new food, but without an underlying “why” to what you’re doing, the allure will eventually fade and you’ll need more and more stimulation to make yourself feel good.
You don’t have to cure cancer or solve world hunger to have a Noble Goal - in fact, the best goals are those that don’t have a clear “end” point, otherwise we might strive to reach it and then find ourselves in the same position as before - wondering “what now?”. It can be an over-arching goal, something you can practice every day, and can ask yourself “does what I’m doing right now align with my noble goal?”, such as:
Being an example of compassion, love and kindness in the world
Preserving the environment in the area where I grew up
Honouring the interconnectedness of all beings
Again, aligning with your Noble Goal doesn’t mean you need to quit your job and fly to Africa to help build an orphanage. It doesn’t even mean you need to shift careers. It just means you find ways to work towards that Noble Goal, in any way that you can. It’s a North Star, something guiding your journey and getting you out of bed in the morning.
I’m personally a big fan of the worlds of Glennon Doyle Melton, who basically says - find the thing that breaks your heart, and therein you will find your purpose. What thing in the world is so heartbreaking that it drives you to want to change things? To make the world a better place?
Through working with me, you can find out whether your Noble Goals are aligned with your life, and if you have absolutely no idea what those goals are, then I can help you work it out (check out my previous post about how to find your Emotional Intelligence score).
For me, it’s bringing about a more conscious, compassionate world, where we examine our thoughts and feelings thoroughly, transcend our egos and make decisions from a place of authenticity and love. A world where we make decisions and actions that benefit the environment, the land, other people (regardless of whether they are “our” people or not), not decisions that bring us purely personal gain. For me, working with people to become more Emotionally Intelligent is one vital way to do this - even if I just help one person to act from greater purpose and awareness.
Curious to figure out what your purpose, your driving force, is? Contact me for a free 30-minute discovery call!
