When I told people I was preparing, slowly, for the oncoming forced quarantines and potential shortages of food in the supermarkets, I was told not to be paranoid.

When I voiced the fact that the global stock market is crashing, that trading had even been suspended, that our money may not be safe in our banks, I was told to be more optimistic.

Well, to me, being optimistic is not about covering our eyes and ears and singing "la la la everything will be fine". That's Pollyanna-ism, denial, self-delusion, or toxic positivity - and that may have served you just fine so far, but in the end it's only going to be more painful when you realise that sometimes you have to make tough decisions and act.

What it Optimism?

To me, optimism is looking at the harsh realities facing us and asking ourselves what we can do about it.

Because to seek solutions is to maintain hope - the hope that there is a way through this. That perhaps things won't go back to the way they were, but that we can get through this in some way or another.

Optimism may even look like a calm, spiritual acceptance of what may come - because in that there is still hope; hope that we are just a tiny part of a vast and complex universe, and that what feels like the end of the world for us is merely a tiny change in something we cannot even comprehend.

On the other hand, sitting around and thinking “well, I can’t do anything to change my life, what’s the use in trying?” isn’t optimism.

Learned Helplessness happens when we experience a lack of control over our lives at an early age, or we believe stories that we are powerless to change our lives. Over time, this becomes our reality - even if it is no longer true. We may be holding the keys we need to unlock the door, and yet we don’t see them, because we were taught to always look outside ourselves for change.

Optimism does not necessarily mean that you think everything will be OK — but that you still maintain hope that things will somehow work out — even not the way you once envisioned.

So, what does optimism look like?

Was it pessimistic of me to buy a little extra food, or was it sensible and prepared? Was it optimistic to trust that nothing bad could ever possibly go wrong, even when leading economists and scientists were warning that it was inevitable? I think you know my answer.

On a general note, optimism could look like this : “My IDEAL future involves A, B and C. So here are the ways in which I am going to try and making that happen. On the other hand, I remain open to the possibility that things can change in the blink of an eye, and so I will not pin all of my hopes, dreams and sense of self-worth on achieving A, B or C. I’ll try to be prepared for that NOT to happen, too, just in case.”

It’s having faith in yourself that you will be OK, in some shape or form, no matter what. It’s trusting in your inner strength and resilience — trusting that you will find a way through obstacles, and that you will have the emotional intelligence and flexibility to navigate whatever life throws at you.

Of course this is easier said than done, and my coaching courses aim to help people connect authentically to themselves with love, in order to build trust in themselves and to feel safer and more hopeful about the future. It takes work, and likely isn’t something that one article is going to magically shift for you, but let’s have a look at some ideas, anyway.

How can I cultivate optimism?

1) Look at What You Take In

Despite how bad things seem, the majority of our perception of the world comes from the information we choose to let in. How much are you focusing on stories that tell you that the world is a hopeless, dangerous place?

What about the stories about amazing people and organisations that are making a difference? Try to balance the bad news you take in with positives. This doesn’t have to be feel-good stories about kittens making friends with tigers — for me, I like to learn about advances in science and technology, for example.

If that doesn’t work, take a step further back. Spend time in nature or looking at the stars. Learn about space and the universe. Realise just how little we actually understand about the universe, how tiny we are in the massive black vastness of space, and yet how infinite and amazing our own minds can be.

2) Identify PPP or Binary Thinking

Be careful of thoughts that follow the “three Ps” — attributions that are Personal, Pervasive and Permanent. According to Martin Seligman, these “PPP” thoughts are far more likely to spiral us into depression or anxiety.

Personal thoughts — “This always happens to me”, “Why me?”, “I know *I* would mess it up”
Pervasive thoughts — “Nothing ever goes right”, “Things will never improve”
Permanent thoughts — “Things will never get better” “I’ll always be like this”

These thoughts might not be about you. They might be about the state of humanity, the planet, or anything else that bothers you. So, how do we go about challenging these black/white thoughts?

Write down at least three statements you’ve caught yourself thinking that are personal, pervasive, and/or permanent. Now, next to each one, write down all the evidence you have for that claim.

When you’re done, think about evidence you might have to COUNTER that claim. These could be times when you didn’t mess up, or humanity was actually quite impressive… or they can be a different way of viewing the situation.

Binary thinking is good/bad, black/white thinking - not accepting shades of grey. It’s when you tell yourself that you’re a failure because you only achieved 90% of your to-do list, or when you give up on a dream because you had a small setback (“This isn’t 100% smooth sailing for me, therefore it must mean I’m not cut out for it”). Are you guilty of this?

3) Reduce Stress

In Six Seconds’ model of Emotional Intelligence, Optimism is actually one of the eight ‘competencies’ of EQ. But instead of being a measure of ‘positive thinking’, they look at optimism in terms of your ability to seek solutions to a problem. In a way, it’s a measure of creative thinking, imagination and resourcefulness.

It’s harder to be creative and imaginative when we are in ‘fight/flight’ mode, stressed, or anxious. On top of that, binary thinking is far more likely when we’re in this state, making it easy to give up when things don’t go exactly the way we wanted them to.

That’s why incorporating practices into your day that help you to reduce stress are so important - whether a 3-minute mindfulness meditation that you sneak into your work day or a run through the park.

4) Envision the life you’d like

Aim to cultivate what Joanna Macy calls Active Hope. Active hope does not mean that you are attached to a particular outcome, such as “I will have XXX amount of money / that specific job” and that you give up and lose hope if your path to it is blocked. Active hope, instead, asks you - what would you like to have happen in our world? You can apply this question to - what would you like to have happen in your life?

As you start to envision or dream about what kind of life/world you want, you tune into your hope. And even though you might lose the flame of hope once your Inner Critic steps in and says “yeah, but dream on, kid!”, that doesn’t mean you should give up.

“Active Hope is a practice. Like tai chi or gardening, it is something we do rather than have. It is a process we can apply to any situation, and it involves three key steps. First, we take a clear view of reality; second, we identify what we hope for in terms of the direction we’d like things to move in or the values we’d like to see expressed; and third, we take steps to move ourselves or our situation in that direction” Joanna Macy & Chris Johnstone, Active Hope: How to Face the Mess We’re in Without Going Crazy

How might things change for you if you consider hope and optimism a practice, rather than a thing that you do or don’t have?

5) Take small steps toward the world and life you want

As Joanna says above - ‘take steps to move [yourself] in that direction’.

Sitting around hoping that other people will sort out the world for us, that a superhero will swoop in and save the day at the last minute (or a romantic man on a white horse will make all our problems go away) might feel nice, but it’s not going to get you very far.

Unless you’re super privileged and lucky, things aren’t going to drop out of the sky onto your doorstep.

What is one small action you can take today towards the life and world you want?

That small action, by itself, may do nothing. But combine it with lots and lots of small actions that you take over time, and you’re getting somewhere. Nobody builds their dream life overnight, and nobody changes the world with one, simple, one-off action.

Your goal, or ideal life, can seem like it’s impossible when you look at everything you have to do to achieve it. So it’s easier to tell yourself that it’s impossible anyway, that you’re not cut out to do it, that you can’t make a difference. But if you break it down into small chunks, you will slowly start to see things shifting.

6) Practice Gratitude

Not only does practicing gratitude generally boost our mental wellbeing and help us to focus on the positives, but it can shake us out of the mindset of “I will be happy if only I have _____”.

It helps us realise that we are already enough. That we are already amazingly privileged to get to participate in this complicated, beautiful dance called life, and that the sense of perpetual dissatisfaction with our bodies, our careers, our relationships etc is what keeps the wheels of consumerism in motion.

As Joanna Macy says - gratitude can be the most radical act.

Complete these sentences to try it out, adding as many details as possible (or speaking out loud for 2 minutes each for each one).

What I appreciate about being alive at this time is…

One person I really admire and appreciate it…

What I appreciate about myself is…

7) Try to prepare…

What might you do if your big dream doesn’t work out? What will you do if society collapses tomorrow?

If you find these questions provoke resistance in you, even anger, then it may be worth asking yourself why considering different options is so difficult.

The more prepared you feel, the less you’ll be trying to push the anxiety down. I’m not talking about devoting your life to building an underground bunker just in case things go horribly wrong - I’m talking about following the classic grandmother advice “a stitch in time saves nine”, or “better safe than sorry”.

Sometimes, looking at the worst case scenario is so scary that we ignore it - letting it hang over us like a dark cloud instead. But, quite often, when people sit down and work through a step-by-step list of what exactly they’re afraid will happen, and then answer “What WILL you do in that case?” they realise that they would find a way through it, after all.

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If you like this, check out the longer, climate-related version I wrote on Medium: Being Optimistic in the Face of the Apocalypse

Want to work on your optimism and hope? Contact me for a Free 30-Min Discovery Call to find out how we can work together one-on-one.

My upcoming 6-week course, Unlocking Resilience: The Badass Masterclass, starts July 20th and will help you build ‘realistic’ hope and optimism rather than the “let’s pretend everything is fine” variety!